Tell us a little about yourself and what you do
I’m a Los Angeles based painter and have recently been venturing into sculpture. I paint abstracted psychological and spiritual figurative work.

How did your interest in art begin?
My interest in art began as a kid. I was constantly drawing and making tiny sculptures out of sculpey clay. I’ve always enjoyed receding into my inner world and imagining scenarios. I can remember going to school and thinking about riding dinosaurs and not noticing anything around me. Particularly if there was a lot of tension in my house or surrounding, it was a way to feel a sense of comfort and adventure. I took a long hiatus when I was a teenager and through college and didn’t go back into art making till much later when I was diagnosed with epilepsy. I had temporal lobe seizures which come in the form of intense short visual and auditory hallucinations that were followed up or preceded by intense bouts of acute emotion–usually extreme flight or fight fear or sadness. At first the seizures themselves were very euphoric and I felt an incredible sense of connection and understanding of things, although it was very fleeting maybe only for a few minutes after them.

Once I was medicated, they changed quite a bit. While this began, I began incessantly drawing. I would maybe make five or more drawings a day that were very immediate, automatic and necessary to release feelings and tensions in my body. But through all of this, I think I became very acutely aware of how much my body told me things about my feelings and mind. I became attuned to listening to it and how much I couldn’t consciously control it, which really influences the process of my work.

While painting seems to be in the forefront of your practice, there seems to be a deeper delve into sculpture happening. Can you talk about this crossover and how you began making these sculptures
I began making these wood sculptures when I was very frustrated with painting and my practice in general. My process heavily relies on intuition and a sense of letting go. After one of my first shows which gave me a greater understanding of commercial aspects of the art world, working instinctually became hard for me and I felt very out of touch with myself while painting. I began just chiseling faces into blocks of wood for fun. About a year later I painted them and put them into a show. They’re very different from painting, which for me, is a very psychological and spiritual process, especially because I don’t know where the painting will lead me. Sculpture requires a different type of knowledge and process of creating with more planning. Ideally I’d want to make larger works and get help with fabrication, but I’m glad I’ve begun to learn more about new materials.

What is one of the bigger challenges you and/or other makers are struggling with these days and how do you see it developing?
Interacting with the art world and maintaining a strong sense of your own practice and self is always something that’s challenging and takes continuous regrounding. Artists of course have to make money and so much of the market is trend based with ups and downs, so it’s so important to really feel the value in what I’m doing to fare that.

Through deep colors, strong symbolism, and specific layering, a heavy sense of emotion becomes present within your work. Can you talk about the themes and ideas you’re thinking about currently and how they manifest within your pieces?
I’m thinking a lot about psychology, spirituality and the body… and how they interact. It makes sense that a heavy sense of emotion comes through because I’m very conscious of being in touch with my deepest emotions while I paint. I become in touch with ones that I’m not usually in touch with as I’m passing through my day. As I mentioned, my process relies heavily on being in touch with my instincts, intuition and being in unison with my body. My body becomes very in touch with my emotions in a visceral way which I think comes out on the canvas. A lot of the time, my chest hurts and I’ll feel a lot of sadness and painting really releases this. My sister was a yoga instructor and I’d hear her say that she’d spontaneously cry during yoga. I think it’s the body releasing old pent-up emotions and letting them out with tears. I think something similar to that is happening. When a painting really works, I listen to these feelings my body is emitting and let them out and it’s followed by a sense of self acceptance, freedom and joy.

During this process, and when I’m really in touch, it can feel very spiritual and intimate, which are aspects of the self I’m very interested in regarding myself and society in general. What makes people feel deeply connected to themselves and others around them? having an intimacy with myself while I paint, where I can be exactly who I am not striving to be who I want to be or perceived in a certain way is a place that gives me a sense of wholeness.There aren’t many other areas in life that feel as intimate as painting besides being in love that make me feel so truly connected to myself and the world. Teaching art is another experience I’ve had that helps me feel this way.

I used to be interested in addiction and codependency in my work and how when you’re not in touch with yourself and dependent on something else to feel whole. I feel like now the topic has expanded to reflect having these feelings during my process and how when I’m painting in a way that feels very true and honest with myself, I feel a sense of wholeness. Feelings of wholeness are talked about a lot in psychology with attachment theory and codependency and in religion, like in zen buddhism.

What are some recent, upcoming or current projects you are working on?
I’m working on a few exhibitions, one at the end of the year and another next Spring. I’m also working on learning to sew. I’m interested in soft sculpture, sculptural paintings, and clothing. Learning something new also helps me be very present in other areas of my practice.

What do the head, the face, and the silhouette hold/mean for you? Is there a specific weight attached to these symbols?
In the book the Woven Child about Louise Bourgeois fabric works, Ralph Rugoff says…”a head almost inevitably stands for a whole person; more than any other part of the body, we regard the head – and the face in particular – as the principal locus of the self, the screen on which our inner emotions and character and character are made visible…bourgeois’s fabric heads are not so much portraits of particular individuals as evocations of diverse and often ambivalent, mental and emotional states.”
This description really resonates as to why I’m attracted to creating portraits and how I view my own lack of specificity of who they are and instead focus on the psychological and spiritual aspects of a person and the self. The head and face serve as a point of entry for the viewer.
In terms of how I create, these works had more advanced planning in the past. I have to decide on a shape, a silhouette and cut it out with canvas and then sew it onto another canvas and stuff it so that there is a slightly three dimensional aspect to it. In some ways, there is a bit less freedom but in other ways there is more intentionality in the process.

What do you want a viewer to walk away with after seeing your work?
My process, being based on feelings of being in touch with myself, is ideally what a viewer could walk away with, a greater sense of feeling, like when you listen to a song and feel so connected and it provides a mirror inwards.

What have you been reading/listening to lately?
In terms of what I listen to that inspires me, I love Joan Armatrading, and reading D. H. Lawrence and Zen buddhism books. Joan Armatrading has so much soul when she sings and her lyrics are so personal yet relatable and nuanced. She captures what it’s like to be insecure, confident and in love. She’s very inspirational to me. I haven’t read him in a while, but D.H, Lawrence’s work touches a lot on social alienation, the complexities of emotions with greed and oneness with nature. He really captures the complexity of emotions and relationships while being really poetically written.

What are you really excited about right now?
I just finished making some large-scale work for a deadline and am excited to travel and then get back to the studio refreshed.

 

 

Interview conuducted and edited by Lily Szymanski.